


Think about the place where you first met me

by SayNoNo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Feels, Break Up, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Dean Winchester Needs a Hug, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, POV Castiel (Supernatural), Post-Purgatory (Supernatural), Protective Benny Lafitte, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester (mentioned) - Freeform, Sam isn't in this guys, Season/Series 08 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 10:53:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24349816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SayNoNo/pseuds/SayNoNo
Summary: Benjamin says 'it'll pass', those inklings of doubt were 'bound to happen, healthy even' in every relationship he said. Be gentle with him he told him. Benjamin said a lot of things. He gave Cas every tip in the book."Hell, all my relationships before Andrea crashed and burned. Nothing worked, thats why you gotta play the field a bit Castiel." He shrugged wiping away the grime on his face. Purgatory really took a toll on human skin care "Nothing wrong with that, Dean knows.""No. That's not it. I don't need...that"Castiel braced himself.All the tips in the world and nothing can make this easier.
Relationships: Castiel & Benny Lafitte & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 12





	Think about the place where you first met me

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from Taylor Swifts 'Getaway Car'  
> The full line is: Should've known I'd be the first to leave, Think about the place where you first met me

"I just need to figure out some things". 

Benjamin raised an eyebrow with silent judgement marring his features. Castiel has been dealing with a lot of these looks from Benjamin lately, but he truly doesn't understand why any of this bothers the vampire so much. It's not like Cas is breaking his heart. 

They were standing outside the bunker, Benjamin had needed his packet of blood for the day and Cas had incited a fabricated excuse of fresh air. 

Utter bullshit if you ask him, there was nothing fresh about earth's air. All it was was polluted toxins lingering in the air, clustered close enough for Castiel to be able to pick out each offending molecule. 

"Dean is good" Cas started slowly. 

"That he is Castiel. That he is."

"Thank you, Benjamin" Cutting the very short yet effective conversation off just as it started, Cas wished it could all be this easy. The tangle of human emotion makes everything that much more complicated. 

It didn't matter though, he had made up his mind. 

"It's actually Benny" Benjamin muttered around the tube of his lunch. 

Cas pulled the door back and headed inside, but not before he threw Benjamin a stiff nod. Hopefully that keeps him from intercepting, the chances were slim to none, but Cas wasn't really in a position to bargain. 

Dean was sitting at the far end of the centre table, he had Sam's laptop open with a beer that he had probably been nursing for the last twenty minutes taking up residence next to it. 

"Dean we need to talk..." Cas started gruffly from across the room. 

"Mm" Dean's fingers deftly held the neck of the bottle as he took a long swig before he closed the laptop and motioned for Cas to sit down. "Everyone always wants to talk, you'd think I was the smart one." 

"You are."

"Yeah okay Cas." Dean laughed as if he actually found that funny, as if Castiel's response was absurd. "What's up Cas?"

"I—" Castiel licked his lips nervously "I thought the phrase 'we need to talk' warranted a pretty good idea what about...or so I was told."

Dean furrowed his brows as he smiled slightly "Right. So what you're breaking up with me?" He stated with amusement colouring his tone. 

"Wow he wasn't joking..." Cas trailed off before blinking harshly, "I. Yes. It appears that I am." this time a little more decisively. 

He watched Dean's eyes widen mid swig as he pulled the lip of the bottle away from his mouth letting it hang between his fingers swinging a little haphazardly. The remnants of the joke slunk away and now Dean just looked confused. "You're breaking up with me..."

"Dean—" he started, curling his fingers lightly around Dean's wrist. "I don't think we should harm our friendship any more than we already have." Castiel could feel the weight of the lies, they were more like half truths, but they tore at the seams of his being anyway. "You're friendship means everything to me, I wouldn't want to risk that in any way or form." 

"You're." He cleared his throat before he set down the bottle and ran his palms down the length of his face. "You're being serious? You're actually doing this right now." 

"That seems rhetorical, but yes. I need to figure some things out Dean."

The scoff caught Cas off guard "The classic, it's not you it's me? Really Cas...?" 

"...I'm not sure what you me—"

"No. No I get it. I'll just." Dean pursed his lips and pushed away from the table, grabbing his beer once again he headed towards the back of the bunker, presumably to his room. "If you need anything—ask Sam." 

Cas just sat at the table, once again wondering if he had made the right decision. 

Dean Winchester was too good for him. If it weren't for his foolishness Dean wouldn't have had to spend all that time in purgatory, he wouldn't have nightmares now, and he surely wouldn't be as scarred and bruised. 

Benjamin hadn't even hesitated to say Dean was good and all Cas ever did was hurt him. He had betrayed him as a friend and now broken his heart as a lover. 

The Dean that Cas had met all those years ago was pained but not marred, his soul burned brighter than anybody that Castiel had ever witnessed. Dean had presence that felt right, a voice that demanded to be heard, and above all, a moral compass that was unmatched. 

Where Cas faltered, Dean was righteous. 

"Well, that went well." Benjamin drawled out in a light husky voice. 

"How long have you—"

"Does it matter angel?"

"No, I guess not Benjamin"

"Benny." Benjamin circled around Cas and stood behind him, he folded his arms over the backrest of the chair "He looked...broken."

"He's Dean, he'll...he will be okay" right?

"You're right Castiel, he is Dean. And if I know something about that boy, it's that it takes a lot to break him." Benjamin said ruefully "But yes, he will get over it. He always does."

Benjamin took the seat next to Cas "You hurt him though" he muttered solemnly. 

The ache settled somewhere deep that not even Cas could properly identify. He hadn't wanted to hurt Dean, he was just doing the human thing, protecting himself, and if that was selfish then so be it. Cas thinks he's earned a right to be selfish after all this time. 

Cas folded his lips into a thin line and hung his head forward "Not for the first time Benjamin...and definitely not the last."

"Benny Castiel, it’s Benny for fucks sake.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this really late without sleeping, it was like word vomit that I just had to get down.  
> This is my first fic for the Supernatural fandom and I just couldn't help myself.  
> Constructive criticism is always welcomed. 
> 
> Thanks for giving this a shot and stay safe!  
> -Anna


End file.
